Cute Guys in Your Conscience Shouldn't be Guides
by Elanor Took
Summary: What if your conscience was a bunch of good-looking guys?


Why You Should Never Let Cute Guys in Your Conscience Be Your Guide  
  
~ Elle's Notes: This did not happen for real. (don't I wish) But if you drink 5 cans of Dr. Pepper and a bag of Pixi Stix, it will seem very real .~  
  
CONSCIENCE GUIDES: Elijah Wood (my sweet baboo) Hayden Christensen Tobey Maguire Ewan McGregor Noah Wile  
  
Else is in her room lying on her bed staring at the ceiling .She is a bit sad. She doesn't have a boyfriend and  
  
Elle: ~ singing to herself ~ Why does my heart cry?  
  
Ewan: ~ singing off in the distance ~ Feelings I can't fight.  
  
Elle: ~ pauses ~ looks around ~ Where are you? Why are you here?  
  
Ewan: ~ still singing ~ You're free to leave me.  
  
Elle: ~ a bit confused ~ Just please don't deceive me.  
  
Elle & Ewan: And believe me when I say... I love you! ~ Ewan bursts through room door ~  
  
Elle: ~ sits up in surprise ~ Ah!  
  
Ewan: Good afternoon.  
  
Elle: Should I ask why you are in my room? Here? Now?  
  
Ewan: No. I'm just here.  
  
Elle: Oh, sorry I asked.  
  
Ewan: Another round for that heart wrenching song?  
  
Elle: Yes. Please.  
  
Elle & Ewan: Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight. You're free to leave me, just please don't deceive me. And please, believe me when I say... I love you!  
  
Toby: ~ off in the distance ~ STOP!!!!  
  
Elijah: ~ obviously with Toby coming closer ~ Please make it end!  
  
Hayden: ~ with Elijah and Toby arriving at door ~ I can't take it anymore!  
  
Ewan: What's wrong?  
  
Elle: Are we out of tune?  
  
Tobey: No, the self-pity! Stop with the whole self-pity thing!  
  
Elle: Oh. I'm sorry. I'm just really sad and frustrated. But maybe if Elijah came just a little closer, I'll solve world hunger if you'd like.  
  
Ewan: Right...  
  
Hayden: We just don't want to hear it anymore.  
  
Elle: Do you have any idea what is going on in my life right now? What I have to put up with daily? What I'm going through?  
  
Elijah: Of course we know. We've always known.  
  
Elle: Hold on. Can I take that back? Why are you here?  
  
Tobey: Because you need some much-needed guidance.  
  
Elle: And that makes you special because...  
  
Elijah: We're your conscience.  
  
Elle: My conscience is a bunch of guys I think are ridiculously good looking?  
  
Hayden: Why yes. We were hand-picked by yourself.  
  
Elle: Well then. One of you is missing.  
  
Tobey: Really? There's me, hobbit dude, lightsaber boy and the music man. Whom else are we forgetting?  
  
Elle: ~ closes her eyes and thinks really hard ~  
  
Noah: ~ walks in ~ Hey, did I miss anything?  
  
Elle: Noah!  
  
Elijah: How come she didn't act this happy when I came in before? I'm very confused.  
  
~ Suddenly Katie walks into the room grabs Tobey ~  
  
KT: Wrong conscience Tobey boy, you're with me.  
  
Tobey: Sorry Elle byt KT is the only girl for me ~ Tobey puts on his spider mask on and grabs KT as they swing to NYC ~  
  
Elle: I knew she would do that. ~ crosses arms ~ I hate her.  
  
Noah: Bummer.  
  
Elijah: Well, who does your other little sister get?  
  
Elle: ~ closes eyes and thinks really hard ~  
  
~ Cave Troll breaks down wall ~  
  
C.T.: Grrr. Arg.  
  
Hayden: ~ Whips out lightsaber and blows it to little snack size bits sold separately at you local food store ~  
  
Elijah: Ah! ~ smacks Hayden ~ I was supposed to do that!  
  
Hayden: Jee Wiz. You're welcome.  
  
Elijah: I have my own weapon thank you very much.  
  
Hayden: Oh yeah?  
  
Elijah: ~ draws Sting ~  
  
Hayden: Oh. It shines blue. So what? So does mine.  
  
Elijah: It's shinning blue!? Where's the orc?  
  
Elle: Next door to my room. Don't bother.  
  
Elijah: Well at least mine is Elvin made.  
  
Hayden: Well I made mine my self!  
  
Elle: Boys! Stop!  
  
Noah: ~ his beeper goes off ~ Oh sorry. Gotta split. Good luck!  
  
Elle: Bye. ~ Sigh ~ There goes another one.  
  
Elijah: Why was he here in the first place.  
  
Elle: He's just cute.  
  
Elijah: Oh.  
  
Elle: ~ falls on her bed again in despair ~ Oh, woe is me.  
  
Hayden: Oh, not again.  
  
Ewan: Any song requests?  
  
Elijah: If anything, something perky.  
  
Ewan: ~ singing ~ Oops, I did it again. I played with your hear. Got lost in the game. Oh baby, baby.  
  
Elijah: ~ pulling Elle up ~ Here's what you gotta do.  
  
Hayden: #1 Pick yourself up and dust yourself off.  
  
Ewan: You might think we're in love. That I'm sent from above.  
  
Elijah: #2 Bow Your Nose  
  
Hayden: Yeah, wait a sec..ewwwww  
  
Ewan: I'm not that innocent.  
  
Elijah: Uh Ewan, just, no.  
  
Hayden: Ewan please cut it out!  
  
Elle: Ok. Brittney Spears. BAD IDEA!  
  
Ewan: Sorry. You said something perky.  
  
Elle: Just stick to "Roxanne" or even better, just hum it.  
  
Ewan: Alright. ~ faces a corner and hums "Roxanne" ~  
  
Hayden: I believe that about wraps this up. You are semi-problem free for now.  
  
Elle: But you guys are forgetting the most important part!!!  
  
Hayden: Eh?  
  
Elle: A boyfriend! I want a boyfriend! I want somebody to name stars after me even though they already have some other name. I want to receive bouquets that have their roots still attached. I want somebody to take me to favorite movies and dances. Somebody who I can talk to for hours and want to hold their hand every instant they are around. Somebody to walk me home, and save a seat for me on the bus.  
  
Elijah: Oh. I see. We can't really help you there. That's your own ally.  
  
Hayden: Are you sure you want to get into that business?  
  
Elle: I ache for one with every fiber of my being.  
  
Hayden: Well then. Just wait. A good person is bound to come your way any minute. We have to leave you now to make your own decisions.  
  
Elijah: Bye.  
  
Ewan: ~ stopped humming ~ See you later!  
  
Hayden: A pleasure to be of service madam. ~ and everyone begins to walk out of the door ~  
  
Elle: ~ grabs Elijah by the shirt collar ~ Wait! You can't leave yet. ~ shuts door behind them giggling~ 


End file.
